


From One Friend to Another

by Mimozka



Category: Arrow (TV 2012)
Genre: Family, Flowers, Friendship, Gen, Loss, apology, missing moment
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2013-11-22
Updated: 2014-04-07
Packaged: 2018-01-02 07:59:18
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 4
Words: 3,373
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1054375
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Mimozka/pseuds/Mimozka
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Post 02x07. Felicity visits a very important person the morning after the ordeal with the Count.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> This little drabble-gem came to me at 4AM and I just got up and wrote it. It was something that I thought Felicity would do.

**_"I'm sorry...I got myself into trouble again and you... killed him. You killed again and I am sorry that I was the one who put you in a position where you had to make that kind of choice." ~ Felicity Smoak ___**

When he asked her about it at work she would lie. She would lie and tell him that, yes, she managed to get some rest last night.

Yes, she felt better.

No, she didn’t have nightmares.

Of course, whether he would believe her or not was a whole other story, but then again, he was such a bad liar himself that she might just get away with it. Because the truth was that her nightmares were horrific and no matter how many showers she took, scrubbing her skin until it was an angry, painful red color and washing her hair with copious amounts of shampoo, she could still feel that man’s fingers in her hair and on her skin.

So instead of sleeping, her brain thought it would be better to just overplay the night’s events over and over again. That, in turn, made her analyze everything that’s happened and was how she ended up where she currently was – in Starling City Memorial, holding a small bouquet of flowers in her hand.

Running her free hand through her hair, she exhaled loudly before approaching the grave and laying down the flowers.

“I hope you like them, I mean, I didn’t really know you, so I had no idea what flowers you liked or… I mean, I’m sorry if you don’t like them, but I was going for meaning instead of loveliness and according to Google, and I quote: “Aqua – blue and violet hyacinth, white roses and cream tulips symbolize what I’ve come her to say… supposedly. I’m not into flowers so I can’t confirm or deny that, but I doubt the florist at the shop next to my building would lie. She seemed nice enough…” She rambled nervously “Although, if you were allergic to flowers then that totally ruins the intent behind the gesture. Not that it really matters, I guess… You’re dead, they can’t affect you…”

At this point her palm collided with her forehead. “God, I’m sorry. Didn’t mean that…”

She took a couple of deep breaths and looked around sheepishly, hoping that nobody heard that silly speech. For once, she was in luck, since it looked like there was no other living soul – no pun intended – besides her. Or maybe it was just the very early hour she was visiting…

Having calmed down, she squatted down so that she was facing the inscription.

“I came here to apologize.” She said, all nervousness gone. “I already apologized to him and he brushed me off, telling me it was okay. But you see, I know him, and I know that it’s not okay. So, the reason I’m bothering you in this unholy hour is that I wanted to say ‘I’m sorry’.” Her voice was somber as she spoke.

“He made a promise, knowing how much it would mean to you and last night he had to break it… because of me. And I’m sorry about that. I know that there probably isn’t anyone that he values more than he does you and that dead or not, you mean the world to him. I saw what your falling out did to him before the Quake, and words cannot describe the state he was in after it.”

She shifted a little on her feet and continued.

“I know how seriously he takes promises and no matter how much he justifies the choice he made last night, I know it would bother him at some point. He has enough on his plate already, so I’ve come here to ask you to forgive him for breaking his promise. From one friend to another. I don’t know how it goes, but if you could just talk to him, or haunt him in his dreams, or appear to him, or whatever it is you ghosts do and tell him that it’s okay and that you understand, then I’d be really grateful. “

With that, she brushed her fingers gently over the inscription and got back up on her feet.

“Goodbye, Tommy.” She said with a small smile before walking away.

The End.


	2. Chapter 2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Post 02x09 "Three Ghosts". Felicity finds herself yet again at Starling City Memorial Park

"It's me again," Felicity said, coming to a halt in front of the tombstone.

Once again she was at Starling City Memorial Park and once again she was holding a bouquet of flowers. It was a small arrangement of Dahlias and Camellias in varying shades of red.

"I'm not empty handed, either," she smiled, squatting down and laid the flowers on the grass. "This time it's a happy message, though, and also the red is the colour of warmth, so hopefully your cloud will feel extra warm and fluffy today."

Her legs were starting to go a little numb so she just leaned her body backwards and sat down on the grass, not caring about the dampness, or the chill in the wintry air.

"I really regret not meeting you, you know that?" she told him. "I think between you and me, we would have made an awesome intervention team for when Oliver gets all dark and broody… Especially since you seem to have some beyond-the-grave, out-of-this-world best friend superpowers." She chuckled.

There was a particularly strong gust of wind that blew right over her in that moment, causing Felicity to laugh.

"You know until yesterday, I didn't believe in ghosts. I'm a 'if I can see it and I can touch it' type of girl… but after everything that went down – I'm going to take that micro-hurricane you just blew at me as a sign that you agree with me." She paused despite herself, waiting to see if something would happen. Nothing did.

"Of course, you're not going to blow your cover or use all of your tricks at once." She muttered under her breath, amusement still shining in her eyes, partly because she did feel a little silly talking to a slab of sculpted marble and partly because she couldn't believe she actually hoped something would happen for a moment there.

She cleared her throat gently in order to get herself to focus. After all, making jokes wasn't why she came here.

"He told me, you know," she said somberly. "That he saw you or your ghost or whatever it is you were. Oliver told me what you said. He said you're the reason he didn't give up that he kept fighting." Her voice trembled a little bit and she cleared her throat again. "Oliver told me you called him a hero. " A proud smile stretched on her lips as she spoke " I've been trying to get him to see that for about a year now. Yet all it took was you spreading your angel-wings and talking to him, I wish I'd known that, it would have saved me a lot of headaches."

"I kind of wish I could hug you now, Tommy Merlyn, you know that? And I totally would if it wouldn't look creepy as hell for someone to hug a tombstone. And I don't know about you, but I'm too pretty and too smart for the loony bin." Felicity cringed a little at her awkward attempt at humor.

Felicity leaned forward and shifted so that she was on her knees and traced the engraved letters of Tommy's name.

"Thank you for bringing him back to me." She whispered, her voice dying at the end because of the lump that suddenly appeared in her throat.

She stayed like that for a few moments, with her hand on Tommy's name and her head down, trying to get a hold of herself. Then she stood up, shook the leaves and grass off her jeans and smiled.

She turned to leave after she said her goodbyes and for the shortest of moments she could feel that prickling sensation one gets when he's being watched. She stopped in her tracks and looked around in what she hoped was an inconspicuous manner. When she saw no one around, she shrugged and continued walking, chalking it up to graveyards being creepy.

When she got home later that day she found a small bouquet not unlike the one she'd left on Tommy's grave in the morning. At first she felt alarmed that someone had broken into her apartment, but when she took a moment to think about it, it didn't make sense for someone to break in only to leave her a bunch of flowers. It was when Felicity picked up the flowers to put them in a vase that she noticed the tiny card nestled between the blossoms.

_I'll always come back to you_

Once she was able to think straight, articulate and actually breathe properly again, she was going to have a long talk with Oliver about breaking and entering.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I decided to make this a multi-chapter because it seemed like the best idea. I originally intended for this to be a stand-alone oneshot related to part 1, but I couldn't come up with a better title and all. 
> 
> Anyway, I'm leaving this as wip because there might be more occasions (in future eps) where Felicity would find herself speaking to Tommy. The last part in her apartment was added per popular request that Oliver witnesses her visiting his best friend. I hope you approve of how I handled that.


	3. Chapter 3

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Originally a post for the "35 Days of Arrow" Hiatus Challenge on Tumblr, but after I wrote it it seemed to fit with the last chapter of this story. 
> 
> Some of you requested an Oliver POV and voila! 
> 
> Enjoy.

"I’ve been a shitty best friend lately," Oliver said, looking down at the yellowing grass under his feet. "Granted, I’ve been busy as hell, but then again you know that…" he added with a sigh and squatted down so that he was on eye-level with Tommy’s engraved name.

Call him stupid, but Oliver felt like this is the closest he could get to looking his best friend in the eye. He didn’t bring any flowers or anything and not because he was stingy or thoughtless - it’s just he couldn’t find the exact combination of flowers to express how sorry he was for being a shitty friend and how grateful he was that Tommy saved his life - for all intents and purposes - the night he fought Brother Cyrus. Flowers were more Felicity’s area of expertise and she was away to visit her family. He’d promised her that she wouldn’t be bothered unless it was a life or death situation (at which she’d scoffed, hit his arm and told him it had better not be a ‘death situation’ or she’d kill him). Picking out flowers definitely didn’t fall under either of those categories.

Besides, Tommy would have laughed his ass off at Oliver for bringing him flowers - dead or alive. Oliver figured it was better not to risk it - there’s no knowing when he might hallucinate about his best friend again.

"For months, I only saw the bad things, only remembered all the times I’ve failed you…" Oliver said, with a somber tone. "I’ve been focusing so hard on your death and blaming myself for it that I’ve forgotten about your life." Oliver shifted on his feet a little and exhaled loudly.

"I forgot about our good times, about the happy memories…" Oliver’s voice died with a sigh.

"Like the time we thought that sliding on the railing of the grand staircase at the mansion was a good idea because we’d seen it on TV and it seemed so easy…" Oliver chuckled a little at the memory. 

"Or the time you sneaked Arthur into school and hid him under the teacher’s cabinet and we both made those quiet growly noises that irritated him and he all but jumped onto Ms. Donovan when she went to check what was going on?" 

"Or years later when Arthur died and we buried him under that rock and stuck his favorite chew-toy sword in it because Excalibur belongs with Arthur…"

"The first time we got detention for fighting at school, because I was dumb enough to antagonize some older kid and you jumped in to defend me when things got rough…" 

Oliver’s voice shook a little at the memories and he took in a deep breath in order to clear his head a little bit.

"Then when we got older things started to get out of control and at one point it was you and me against the rest of the world. I’ve done so many stupid things, yet you never thought less of me. You were right there with me the entire time…" Again, Oliver’s voice betrayed his emotions and his eyes clouded with tears.

"I miss you so much, Tommy, you were my brother and any other friendships I may have for the rest of my life will never come close to you. The part that sucks the most is that there is no one I can talk to about it… Nobody understands." he said sadly, letting out everything he’d been bottling up inside since Tommy’s funeral.

"You were always the caretaker, Tommy, and even now, you still are. You saved my life that night with Cyrus. And I know that if you were here you’d tell me something along the lines of it being my subconsciousness telling me what I needed to hear and what not, but truth is that it was you. You were there with me, not my consciousness…" Oliver wiped the stray tears that escaped his eyes and shook his head a little to gather his thoughts.

"I know you’re probably worried about Laurel, I am too, to be honest." Oliver confessed, his expression turning the epitome of serious. "She loved you like she never loved me, Tommy, you have to know that. You made each other better by being together… But you don’t have to worry I’ll keep an eye on her as Oliver and the Arrow. I’ll try to be there for her as much as she’d let me - because God knows she needs a friend to talk to. Besides, if anyone would understand what your loss meant to me it would be her." 

He let his hand trace the letters of Tommy’s name. 

"So don’t worry your fluffy angel wings, Tommy, we miss you like hell, but we’ll learn to live with it until the day we see each other again." Oliver let out a small laugh at that. " and just so you know, I expect you to be in the first row of my welcoming committee when I kick the bucket… With balloons and grade A vodka." he added with a smile.

"Oh and next time you decide to visit, give a guy some warning, ok?" Oliver said over his shoulder before walking away back to his motorcycle.


	4. Chapter 4

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Thea goes to see her brother.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So Thea finding out about Malcolm in 2x18 gave me this little idea - set at somepoint post “Deathstroke”. 
> 
> Koala Alert! 
> 
> There is a special place for me in hell, I'm sure.
> 
> I hate myself.

* * *

 

It was three days before Thea emerged from her suite at the Starling Plaza Hotel.

Once she’d walked out of the police station she realized she practically had nowhere to go. She and Roy broke up so his place was not an option, she wasn’t sure if Sin actually _had_ a place, and going back to the Mansion was out of the fucking question. She’d rather be caught dead than go to that place. Staying at one of her “friends’” houses wasn’t an option either, because she would have to explain why and she didn’t feel like adding more to the family drama topic. She’s had her fill of it.

Thea even vaguely considered the couch at her office at Verdant. She dismissed it pretty quickly, though. First because it wasn’t all that comfortable and second, because even though he didn’t manage the club, Oliver still lurked around it and she didn’t feel like seeing or listening to him.

She wasn’t sure she ever would.

That left her with a hotel room.

So she took a cab to the Starling Plaza, booked a suite, put up the ‘Do Not Disturb’ sign on the door and proceeded to empty the contents of the well-stocked bar until she fell into an alcohol-induced sleep.

But even in her dreams, Wilson’s words haunted  her. Taunting her with the facts implications they carried.

It took her 36 hours to realize something that damn near brought her to her knees.

Tommy.

He was her brother.

Her flesh and blood brother.

She’d spent the next half hour retching into the sink in the bathroom.

Once there was nothing left in her, the dry heaves were gradually replaced with sobs - both from the cramping of her stomach and the knowledge of what Tommy being her brother meant.

His loss hit her all over again. Harder than ever before.

On the third day since her kidnapping, she marched out of the hotel and hailed a cab once again.

Only this time, she was headed for Starling Memorial Park.

She needed to see Tommy. Whatever was left of him. She needed to talk to her brother.

She walked up to his grave without pausing to think if she was on the right course. She could walk that path in her sleep. Just like she could go from her room to her brother and father’s graves back at the mansion.

Oh wait, her _ex_ father and brother.

Still she’d been the only one who openly grieved their loss.

She sat down, cross-legged in front of the headstone. Not caring about the damp grass and mud staining her designer jeans.

"Sooo…" she said awkwardly, running a hand through her hair.

Because what do you say to your dead big brother who you’ve always loved as one but never knew you had?

 _Complicated_ should be the motto of her life.

"I don’t really know if you know, but it turns out I actually _am_ your little sister…” she said, eyes focused on Tommy’s name on the slab of marble.

"It sucks, you know," she sighed "Not that you’re my brother, that would have been awesome. You were always awesome, but it sucks that we didn’t get to find out while you were still alive, you know?"

The hand that was playing with the tips of her hair came down to rest on her lap.

"You were always so kind and good to me. You always protected me. Even from myself. No one has ever done that for me." she confessed.

"I’m so mad at everyone, Tommy, Moira and Oliver… They knew. They’ve probably known for years and they kept their mouths shut… I had a right to know. _We_ had a right to know, damn it!” she ranted, letting out all the bitterness that has been festering inside of her.

"It’s not fair." her voice died in her throat as her vision blurred with tears.

" I know that when Oliver disappeared you did your best to fill in for him, and I will always love you for that. It makes me think that even despite not knowing the truth, we kind of still _knew_ on some level…”

Thea let out a bitter chuckle “And now I sound like a cliched rom-com herione…”

She leaned forward so that her fingers could brush against her brother’s name. The closest she’ll ever get to touching him. At least until she joined him in death.

"I miss you so much." the tears were falling freely down her cheeks now, and she was making no attempt to stop them. "And now, I miss you even more… Why do people I love always screw me over and leave me, Tommy? I’m not that bad, am I?" she sobbed.

She stayed like that for another couple of minutes, crying silently, with her hand pressed against the cold marble.

After a while, the heaviness in her chest felt lighter. It wasn’t gone, but it was bearable.

She got back up on her feet and a sudden shudder went through her as a memory pushed it’s way to the front of her mind.

_Thea you are amazing! But you are also like my sister - my baby sister._

The sound that left her throat was somewhere between an amused laugh and a disgusted groan.

"Oh my god I kissed you!" she exclaimed. "I kissed my brother! I had an actual crush on my own brother!"

"That’s like me walking up to Oliver and planting a kiss on him! EW! Jesus!" she ranted, palms rubbing against her face in embarrassment.

"I gotta go wash my mouth… and my brain…" she murmured to herself and with a last shudder walked away from Tommy’s grave.

She couldn’t even bear to look at his headstone.

Later in that night in her hotel room though, after she’d gone through two tooth brushes and three tubes of tooth paste as well as a dozen chewing gums, she lay in bed and though how even from beyond the grave and when her entire world crumbled around her, Tommy Merlyn still managed to make her smile.

**Author's Note:**

> I don't know a thing about flower meanings. So the flowers' meaning is according to eHow.com.


End file.
